Try This Smart Trick To Transform Your Decluttering Experience.
How do you talk to yourself? “Oh I’m so fat – I hate myself”, “What an idiot! I forgot the milk!”, “I can’t do anything right. I’m so stupid!”.
Do you think that’s sending a productive and helpful message to your subconscious? Would you say that to someone you loved? ~
“You’re so fat – I hate you”, “What an idiot! You forgot the milk!”, “You can’t do anything right. You’re so stupid!”
Makes you feel a bit crap about yourself right? Or you might think it’s funny. You might think you’re right. It might be so completely normal that you don’t even notice that you’re doing it anymore.
It’s the same with anything that you tell yourself negative things about. Exercise, giving up smoking, meditating… “It’s too HARD!”, “I hate it! I can’t do it!”, “Nothing ever works! I’m not even going to try.”
So you want to do something that is obviously good for you, but you’re just not doing it? You’re procrastinating, avoiding, making excuses, making up stories about why you can’t do it…
Like decluttering! Are you saying these things to yourself? ~
“Decluttering is hard. It’s a crap job. I’ll get sweaty and dirty. I’ll have to make DECISIONS! And I’ll feel so bad! What do I do with it all! Bluuurrggghhh!!“
Positive Thinking or… Supportive Words.
I’m not talking about Attraction Theory or Abundance Theory. Though they do have a place in changing your habits of too much shopping and a fearful poverty mindset. Both these things keep overwhelming clutter coming back, no matter how often you attempt to declutter.
What I AM talking about is self talk. Using kind words to change the message you’re telling yourself, in the moment. Changing that habit of being mean to yourself.
You know how kids react when they try something for the first time and get it wrong? They get upset or angry. Sometimes they refuse to do it again, because they don’t like those feelings. So you patiently teach them how to do it. You let them practice, you let them own their feelings and you help them to gain the skills that they will need in the future. ~ By the way, these skills they learn? They also benefit YOU in the future, because you won’t have to do everything for them.
Your persistence and patience has allowed them to learn that they CAN do difficult things. This increases their feelings of self-worth and their self-confidence. How do you think negative talk would affect the learning of the child who’s trying to do something for the very first time? Maybe you experienced that kind of talk in your own childhood.
Let’s stop that pattern. Wherever it came from, you can change it. You can change the words that you use to talk to yourself about hard things.
Let’s get that negative talk right out of your head!
Try this instead:
It can take one early event or years of eroding your sense of self worth. So be patient. Changing a lifetime’s habit takes time. Even if you just hate one particular thing you know you must do, changing how you talk to yourself about it will help.
Thoughts Lead To Feelings – So Change The Thoughts And Change The Feelings.
Let’s just look at decluttering for now.
The next time you look at a space you’re thinking about decluttering but you feel bad about it, listen to the words or thoughts or feelings in your head. You could write them down too. Seeing the words written down can be life changing.
When you catch yourself thinking these words or feeling those feelings, swap them out for a new set of words.
Try saying these things to yourself instead:
- This is easy, I’m only going to do a little bit each time and I’ll get it done!
- I can do this, I can declutter in a really smart way because I know I don’t need all this stuff.
- It’s no problem getting rid of all these really nice things, I can donate them!
- I know what I want, I want less crap in my life, I can make it happen.
- Decluttering is GOOD because I’ll see such a fantastic result when I’m done!
- I’m going to feel so good when I’ve cleared this space! I can’t wait to tackle it!
I know it might sound dorky but try it. See if it changes how you feel. Make up your own positive words. Make it personal. Tell yourself why you want to declutter. What is your motivation? You might want to write that down too – in big letters!
You want something good right? You want that gloriously clear space, that pretty guest room, that beautiful linen cupboard… Get to work on that self talk. Don’t let it win.
Liz The Tidy Lady
Declutter & Life Coach | Tidyness Expert