Are you finding it nearly impossible to declutter beautiful things? I have a secret to tell you, that will help.
Stop Decluttering With Your Eyes.
I don’t mean shut your eyes when you’re sorting out things, that’s dangerous! Imagine trying to work out which of your three sets of chefs knives were the best with your eyes closed!!!
Our eyes are hungry for beauty.
Our eyes remember how much things cost, they worry that they might need that thing someday, they see things as still “good”. They crave, obsess and hoard. They agonise over gifts they dislike, they struggle with sentiment, duty and nostalgia.
Then our eyes easily forget what we own when things are not visible. Have you ever opened a cupboard and pulled out a box and found yourself in a treasure trove of memories? Did you say “I’d forgotten about that!”?
Ever heard the phrase ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’? Choosing to have things around you that you find beautiful is wonderful. But don’t trust your eyes when making decluttering decisions. The beauty of an object is judged by the possessor of that thing or those who wish to possess it and your eyes wish to POSSESS.
Children are driven to possess by the sight of things even more than adults. They cannot conceive that they will EVER again have such wonderful things in their possession. Sometimes their possessions give them a sense of control and a sense of self that is not yet internally developed.
Some children discard and forget their toys with such ease, moving on to the next gift or new thing without a care. The child who hoards and the child who discards are expressing a stage in their own personal psychological development which is a whole other blog post in itself!
Some adults never lose this need to possess things as a method of controlling their environment, protecting themselves from loss and expressing their identity. These things are beautiful to them but in overwhelming numbers they do not serve them.
The gift giver with toppling piles of dusty un-given Things, but they keep buying more.
The crafter with overwhelming amounts of unfinished projects, who keeps buying more.
The person with a new life, holding on to clothes that no longer serve them and a wardrobe busting at the seams.
The provider who keeps everything, just-in-case, but never uses any of it.
Blame your eyes, they don’t have your best future as a priority, not even your best right-now. Your eyes are reactive, not thoughtful. They send signals to your emotions and trigger all sorts of feelings. Feelings of fear, desire, loss and poverty. And those feelings are not true reflections of your reality. Those feelings do not help you move forward and live the life you want to live.
Your mind prioritises your wellbeing over things.
Decluttering requires a breadth and depth of vision that our eyes cannot manage. You are choosing to declutter because you have a vision in your mind, a concept of your life with less things. Even if it is a very tenuous, flickering vision born of stress and overwhelm, it is a vision of freedom.
Your mind, spirit, soul, subconscious, intuition, what ever you choose to call it has your very best at heart. It initiated your desire to declutter, to shed the things that do not serve you. It looked through your eyes and felt your distress and slipped a thought, a concept, a dream of a space that brings you peace.
That cupboard your mind saw holding only the things you need and love, efficiently organised and easy for you to use. That room, it saw with a new purpose, as an office, meditation retreat, creative space. It knows what you need. It prioritises your wellbeing over things.
Maybe it’s time you listened to it. Call it your intuition or logic or a dream. There’s a reason you’re reading this. Declutter with purpose, with your dream firmly in your mind.
Next time you hold a thing that does not serve your life or your future, a thing that is one of so many things that are overwhelming you, ignore your hungry eyes, pay attention to your wise mind.
It wants only the best for you.
Liz The Tidy Lady
Declutter Coach & Tidyness Expert