Feel like you’re working, tidying, cooking and cleaning all day long? All those necessary things we do to maintain our lives and home seem to blend into one extremely long episode of deja vu!
And if you’re not working and doing housework do you find yourself doing something the kids want you to do? Of course you love them to bits, but what about you?!
How do you work out how much of your day should be dedicated to upkeep and cleaning?
How do you set a firm boundary for yourself that allows you time to do things that make you happy?
There’s a risk of burnout, unhappiness, resentment and exhaustion if you don’t make sure that you get to do the things that feed your heart, soul and mind.
Your time is precious!
We forget this in the day-to-day rush to get everything done. Sometimes you notice that time is racing past, the kids grow so fast, grey hairs pop up, people you love grow older, projects never get finished.
You tell your friends you’re desperate for time off or sleep and they get it. They’re stuck in the same routine of getting stuff done that you are!
We’re all stuck in the cycle of work, duties, routines and chores. All the Should’s, the I Must Do’s, the I’ll Feel Terrible If I Don’t…
Or we do things that feel good to do, but we’re really doing it for someone else. It’s wonderful to play or visit, to feel needed and wanted, but are these things truly fulfilling YOU?
You’re not a robot, or a maid. Your inner life, your growth, your expression of yourself, your joy, your wellbeing – every part of you, needs to be nurtured.
There’s 24 hours in a day. That’s 48 half hours or 96 quarter hours. Sounds like a lot doesn’t it?
Let’s pretend for a moment that you get 8 hours sleep… that leaves you with 16 whole hours to play with! But in that time you have hours of work to do, whether in your home or out of your home or both.
Getting the kids ready, getting yourself ready, laundry, dishwasher, breakfast, lunches, unpacking after school, homework, after school activities, snacks, vacuuming, dinner, bedtime, bills to be paid… you know what I’m talking about.
You also have travel time, to and from work, shopping, school, practice, games, dancing…
There’s a heck of a lot to pack into those 16 hours. Somewhere in those hours and days it’s important to set aside time for you.
1. Good Old Boundaries.
Other people forget that your time is precious, and take you for granted. Especially if you don’t remind them by setting boundaries and expectations. And sticking to them. Maybe you adore the people who take you for granted. It’s never going to stop if you don’t keep in mind that your time should be respected, just as much as anybody else’s.
I’ve written about living our best lives in other blog posts. The benefits of decluttering to give you space to do the things you want to do. Letting go of the objects and tasks that hold you back. Freeing yourself from the burden of the stuff overwhelming you.
The importance of letting go of old, unhelpful beliefs. Like having to do everything yourself. That you should always come last. Giving up everything that is YOU.
I’ve also talked about the importance of scheduling your time to include the things that you love to do and standing up for yourself when your family and relationship dynamics don’t serve your best life.
Processes and systems. Sounds boring? They pop up everywhere, for a good reason. Following a recipe is following a process. Someone had to invent that process so the results would be what they wanted. Working out (or getting help to work out) ways to make your home more efficient, will save you time and energy in the long run.
Sometimes all of these things take time. Sometimes we can only do them one at a time, in little bits, because we don’t want to cause conflict, either with others or inside ourselves. And that is absolutely fine.
Every small step you take towards a satisfying and fulfilling life helps support your energy, your resilience and your capacity to live the life you want to live. That life will have constant changes. Don’t be mean to yourself if you can’t finish a project, or don’t follow through on a promise to yourself.
It just means your priorities have shifted.
It’s an opportunity to experiment and investigate what truly feeds your heart, soul or mind, right now.
PS: I’d love to hear how you manage your time, how you balance the work you need to do with things you want to do.