Ahhh perfection… What does that mean to you? Those Perfect Pantry posts on Instagram? The lux-level simplicity of influencers?
Perfection can be a problem. I’m not talking about Perfectionism though. That’s different. I’m talking about the constant struggle to make your home, your-self, your kids, look like a photo in a glossy magazine or social media post.
The commercial world makes a HUGE amount of money from aspirational messages. They aim to make people excited about their products. They also make you feel bad if you don’t match up!
Eventually you can start to feel bad about yourself. It can also make you mad whenever you see the word Perfect in a blog post!
However, there’s a way to beat the system. And feel better.
I call them rules but that’s just shorthand for an idea. Which you can choose to ignore completely because you are the boss of you!
1. There is no such thing as perfect.
We humans are always dissatisfied. We always want new, better, faster, different.
What was perfect to you once, won’t be soon. Your tastes will change, your priorities will change.
How you look at something you want to be perfect, depends on your nature. You might be super easy going. Everything looks fine to you! Or you might have a super critical eye (which is not a bad thing – there’s always a flip side.)
The trick is to not put so much pressure on yourself that it’s all you can think about. Or you feel bad. Bad about yourself, your home, under your kitchen sink.
If you’re truly not happy with your home, there are things you can do to make it better. A place you’re not embarrassed about. An environment that brings you peace. Without making yourself crazy.
Sometimes all it takes is a few tweaks, to make it closer to your dream. To make it better than it was.
2. There are no one-size-fits-all rules.
Have you noticed how many “Rules” there are out there?
Some are very similar. Almost identical. Others are literally the opposite of what you just read!
It’s human nature to look for information that reinforces what we want to believe. We will ignore everything else and hunt out the one book, article, blog post or video that tells us what we want to hear.
Especially if you’re exasperated by what you read. You might think that it’s impossible to follow the rules that you’re seeing. And that makes you feel bad again! Don’t we have enough stuff that makes us feel bad about ourselves in this world?
But there’s nothing stopping you from picking and choosing some ideas from all those experts. Modify them and give them a go. Learn whatever it is that they are sharing with you.
Give it a go. If it doesn’t work, tweak it a bit. If it still doesn’t work, learn from that. Try something else.
What you’re doing is making your own rules, from a place of learning.
Make your own rules that work for you.
3. Be kind to yourself.
If your friend asked for your help you wouldn’t be mean to them would you?
You’d be kind, gentle, take it at their pace. Right?
It makes you happy to see your loved ones happy, but you also deserve to be living the best life you can.
You spend hours of your life lovingly caring for those around you.
Regardless of whether you work outside the home or not, looking after your family and keeping your house clean and functional is WORK! You deserve to have an environment, systems and equipment that make your job as pleasant and easy as possible.
You need to prioritise your happiness and wellbeing right now! Not when you move house, not when you get that job, not when the kids start school.
Still think your idea of perfection will make you happy and fix everything? So tackle your mission for perfection with gentleness. Don’t beat yourself up for stuff you haven’t done or aren’t able to do.
Celebrate the small changes that you’ve made towards your dream.
Liz.
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